Nice. One of the most overused and banal words in the English language. What does it even really mean? So many things can be “nice” and sometimes this niceness is substituted for being Christian. As a child I was taught to be nice and I believe this did two things. It stunted my spiritual growth by causing me to think that being “nice” was what Jesus wanted from me. Don’t make waves. Be polite. Don’t stand out. It also began to alienate me from my faith because one thing that I carry deep inside my heart is a yearning to do good in this world. That causes you to stand out and make waves. You can’t change the world being nice.
It really hit home for me when I started taking flack for writing about racial justice issues. I basically wanted to crawl into a hole and be a turtle in a shell. The voices in my head told me to stay away from the things that will rile people up. Write about safe things. Nice things. But ultimately it left me lost and without a voice. That’s what happens when you make an attempt at being nice. You end up being nothing.
So I’m not going to teach my kids to be “nice”. Kind. Yes. Compassionate. Yes. Righteous. Yes. Nice, Absolutely not. I’m not saying I will teach them to be rude. What I am saying is that I want them to care more about doing what Jesus said than the cultural rules of politeness in society.
So here are my ten reasons you shouldn’t teach your kids to be nice:
1. Jesus wasn’t nice
2. The prophets weren’t nice
3. Wesley, Wilberforce, Dr. King, and countless others who changed the world for good weren’t nice
4. God doesn’t command us to be nice
5. Niceness represents conformity to culture and following Christ is countercultural
6. Being nice is the easiest way to avoid getting out of the pews and getting your hands dirty
7. Satan is not nice
8. Niceness can sometimes be an excuse for cowardice
9. Nice is shallow but God is calling for deep heart change and transforming communities and nations
10. Nice is just another synonym for safe and safe is a word that could never describe a disciple of Jesus
Do you still want to be “nice”? Do you want to teach your kids to be “nice”?
